mariluna.musings

My full name was Marisol Valencia Barajas; Barajas being my mothers maiden name. I am now Marisol Valencia Pasteiner. While I am losing the tie to my mom via surname, I identify with her more than ever.

She left her home for a life with my dad, she ended up in a foreign country where she had to learn a new language and be away from family. When I first lived in Linz, I realized how disorienting and humbling it is, to not be able to fit right in. As someone who usually made friends easily, the language barrier posed an enormous challenge. Even now, with better German, I still feel ill at ease in some social situations.

I like my new name, but I will always have my mother to thank for who I am and who I want to be. I owe it all to her after all. My dear mother has become my biggest supporter. And in spite of her fear of losing me to a different continent she has never made me feel as if I should prioritize her peace by stifling mine. I’m writing from the airport, where she dropped me off to start a new adventure. And I am so very grateful.